Resilience - What is it & how we can build it in our teams - PART ONE
In my home team (my family) we have two young children who are currently navigating the shockingly complex relationships that all young girls and boys will face in their primary school years. Forging friendships, managing friendship groups, managing the inevitable breakdown of said groups and being able to deal with challenges that feel unsurmountable to them, but may often feel like mere “annoyances” to us adults.
Many lifetimes ago I was lucky enough to work as a Kidsline counsellor, manning the phones in a call centre and speaking with children about a myriad of stressors they were facing. Although some issues felt irrationally stressful to the young callers, being removed from the situation both in distance and age, some of the issues they faced seemed small and “easy” to manage. Naturally, the default mechanism (as any older person speaking to an upset child) is to try and give solutions right? I have learnt that I cannot solve my children’s (or any children’s) individual challenges (I have tried to tell them how to!!!). What I can do is try and help them build resilience to acknowledge their feelings, pick themselves up, forge their own way forward and find their own solutions to their stressors – learning all the while how to manage similar things in the future. This wisdom continues to drive me, both in my interactions with my children and with business leaders and employees.
I am a passionate advocate of developing resilience. To me, it is the single most important thing we can develop within ourselves and within our teams to help us manage the crazy world we live in. A resilient person or team is a person or team who can acknowledge their own emotions, pick themselves up, find solutions, draw a line and draw some learnings, while maintaining a positive outlook. Resilient people truly understand the age-old adage of “this too shall pass” and can weather storms which will inevitably come regardless of the weather report!
Over the next three blogs I will break down the topic of Resilience – what it is, why is it important and how we can build resilience in ourselves and our teams! Watch this space!
What is Resilience?
Resilience is being able to adapt and recover quickly from traumatic events or processes that create stress. It is a kind of inner strength which we can develop, and which enables us to navigate the chances we face every day in the world.
A resilient person tends to have a consistently positive outlook and can deal with difficult situations they come across with ease. They come across as positive and don’t, at least, exhibit negative emotions in times of challenge. Let’s be clear - it’s not that resilient individuals have fewer stressors in their life. They are just better equipped to cope with the challenges they face.
Resilient people typically:
Have a realistic sense of control over one's choices
Understand the limitations over such control
See change as an opportunity or challenge (rather than a setback)
Have secure attachments with others and the ability to engage their support
Set and work towards to achievement of personal goals
Have a good sense of humour – and know when to laugh!
Have common characteristics like patience, optimism, tolerance to negative impacts and a high level of adaptability.
People with resilience tend to be able to:
Regulate their own emotions:
They have an ability to watch, recognise and respond to emotions (their own and others) effectively so the function of a team is not compromised. They may notice when something a co-worker says bothers them, pausing and making a thoughtful decision about how to respond or indeed, taking a few deep breaths and calmly and logically addressing the issue – rather than storming out of the room.
Show Self-Compassion
Being mindful, kind and forgiving to ourselves in how we give attention to an experience. This reduces harsh self-criticism and helps us sooth our own emotions and find motivation. When faced with not receiving an internal promotion self-compassion allows us to recognise our disappointment and sadness as normal and give ourselves permission to “feel” it rather than berating ourselves for the failure and our inability to “get over it”. Acknowledging our own humanness in all its emotional glory is inherently strengthening.
Have Cognitive Agility
Those with resilience are aware of their own thinking and that this same thinking can negatively impact them and those around them. Cognitive agility allows us to “change the narrative” in our mind to change the ultimate feelings we have about a scenario or issue and enables us to continue functioning regardless of the situation.
In the workplace it is clear how powerful resilience can be. Aside from helping individuals recover from challenging experiences, it can also assist in their own growth and development. With change, comes growth. Having dealt with one challenging sort of situation we become more comfortable with managing similar situations.
Emotional resilience works in a similar way to physical resilience – we go to the gym every day and lift weights (well some of us do!) and our muscles grow more resilient (we can actually walk the next day!). We can use our increased strength to more easily manage tasks requiring some strength (lifting things or playing with our children). When you practice resilience (emotional or physical) you are building new “muscles” to help you manage anything work or life can throw at you.
Watch this space for the Part Two and Three of my blog series on Resilience!
Our HR Business Partners would love to help you build resilience in your leaders and teams so they are ready to grow and thrive within your business. Contact us by emailing info@corehr.co.nz to discuss your requirements!
Angela Porfiriadis-Walker
Senior HR Business Partner